What does a mentoring session look like? How is the process? What can you expect from a mentor? Common questions from participants in mentoring programs.

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In a previous blog article I touched on the most common mentoring questions. This time I decided to take a closer look at a few selected questions by providing answers in a more comprehensive way.

Go to the issue of your choice:

1. How long does mentoring last?
2. What can you expect from a Mentor?
3. How does a mentoring session look like? 

How long does mentoring last?

The first issue that very often arises – both for participants in mentoring programs and for their organizers – is the duration of mentoring.

The perspective of the mentoring organizer

From an organizer’s perspective, it is worth noting first of all that we can have cyclical and permanent programs.

Cyclical mentoring programs are implemented according to a predetermined schedule. In such a program, we have a specific start and end date. In addition, a cyclical mentoring program should also include a more precise schedule dissecting, for example, the recruitment date for Mentors and Mentees, the completion date for the formation of pairs, events during (for example, supervisions or workshops) and the end of the program with its evaluation – both at the level of individual pairs and at the level of the whole program.

Permanent (“on-going”) programs take the form of an ongoing process in which participants can join at any time. Mentees, upon joining, select Mentors from a pool of currently available ones and start their mentoring process. As a result, individual pairs are at different stages of the process.

Our recommended option, however, is recurring programs, which are more effective especially among participants with less mentoring experience. With couples at similar stages of the process, it is easier to schedule workshops and other events. It is also easier to motivate and monitor participants.

For permanent programs – the duration is basically unlimited. For recurring programs, the duration takes into account the time of the mentoring processes themselves and the time needed for preparation and completion. As part of the preparation, we usually have a phase of communication, recruitment and pairing of participants, which can take from a month to as long as 2-3 months, depending on how much time we want to give participants to join the program. The termination itself involves only the formal closing of the program and evaluation, which should not take more than a week – two.

See also a separate article on stages of implementing a mentoring program in a company.

Duration of the mentoring process

Another issue is the actual duration of pair mentoring processes themselves. How long should such a process last?

The duration of mentoring depends on a clique of factors, and has its own phases that should also be taken into account. Nevertheless, in short, it is assumed that the mentoring process to be effective should last from 6 to 9 months and include 6 to 10 mentoring sessions.

Phases of the mentoring relationship

The duration of mentoring is influenced, among other things, by the different phases of the relationship and how quickly the Mentee and Mentor will move through them. Of course, this is not a race, and far more important than speed is the comfort and effectiveness of building this relationship.

According to the authors of the book “Mentoring in Action. A Practical Guide” we can distinguish 5 phases of the mentoring process:

1. Establishing a relationship / building a contact – getting to know each other and deciding to work together.

2. Discernment/Direction Setting – in this phase, the parties establish the Mentee’s long-term goals, objectives for the mentoring process itself, and the metrics and methods for achieving those goals.

3. Solution Seeking/Development – this is working towards the goals set.

4. End of Relationship – a time to evaluate the effects of the process, the extent to which goals have been met, and jointly determine the next path for the Mentee.

5. Relationship beyond mentoring – this is the time for an optional extension of the relationship beyond the mentoring process itself.

Each of these phases is accompanied by different emotions and different dynamics or levels of involvement. It is up to the participants to determine how quickly each of these phases is completed. It may be, for example, that one session is enough to set a direction – when the Mentee is convinced of his goals. But the process can take 2-3 sessions as well, taking into account the recognition of the Mentee’s resources and his/her aspirations and long-term goals.

How often can you meet?

The duration of the mentoring process is affected by both the number of mentoring sessions (addressed above) and the frequency of meetings.

This frequency should be selected by the couple in such a way that:

1. maintain the momentum of the process and

2. Give Mentee time to develop between sessions.

That is, on the one hand, sessions should not be too infrequent. Meeting less than a month, for example, can lead to a decrease in commitment, a loss of “flow,” more difficulty remembering what was at previous meetings.

On the other hand, sessions should not be too frequent, so that the Mentee has/had time between sessions to complete “homework”, practice in practice the issues discussed, or analyze the effects of his/her actions. Mentoring, to be effective, should be carried out not only during sessions, but also between them – in the Mentee’s natural work environment.

Mentor dependency and the dynamics of the process

Finally, two more points are worth noting.

The first is the potential risk of the Mentee becoming dependent on the Mentor.

In the course of mentoring, the Mentee can expect the Mentor to advise on solving specific problems. An experienced Mentor should strive to have the Mentee do most of the decision-making himself. However, there is a risk that the Mentor will advise the Mentee too often and suggest specific actions. This, if the relationship is too long, can result in Mentee becoming dependent on this support and unable to make their own decisions. It is worth keeping this in mind, both in terms of the process itself and its duration (the shorter it is, the lower the risk of “addiction” will be).

The second issue concerns the dynamics of the meetings and the level of involvement of both parties, but mainly the Mentee, in the process. Usually this dynamic at the very beginning of the relationship is high and very quickly increases to a maximum level. Once the first barriers have been broken, the Mentee will probably be very active, looking forward to the next sessions. Over the course of the process, this dynamic and this engagement will certainly decrease. In some cases, this may lead to a lack of closure and conclusion of the process. Thus, it is worth adjusting the duration of mentoring also to the dynamics and changes in activity, to avoid dragging out the relationship unnecessarily for too long.

What can you expect from a Mentor?

Mentees participating in the mentoring process for the first time may wonder what the Mentor’s role is in the process, what support they can expect from them.

On a similar topic, we have prepared a separate article describing the role of a Mentor and key competencies. I invite you to read this text. Learning the competencies and role of a Mentor allows you to get a better idea of what to expect from them.

In a nutshell, the Mentor’s role is:

• Mentee accompaniment,
• Support,
• active listening,
• asking questions,
• analyzing and drawing conclusions,
• Sharing lessons learned with Mentee,
• Sharing their own knowledge and experience.

So based on these roles, what can a Mentee expect from a Mentor?

First of all, the Mentee should expect from the Mentor a sincere and safe relationship, within which he/she will have the space to open up, to talk freely about his/her challenges, his/her competencies, his/her resources, to communicate his/her emotions freely.

The Mentee also has the right to expect the Mentor to be attentive, give 100% attention during the session, actively listen to what the Mentee is sharing. The Mentor should/should ask lots of questions, activate the Mentee to think, to build self-awareness. For this purpose, so-called coaching questions and deepening and clarifying answers can be helpful.

Mentee should also expect sincere feedback from the Mentor. Feedback plays an important role in development – not just during the mentoring process. Feedback, among other things, helps you learn and grow, increases self-awareness, helps you understand yourself better, and engages you in further work and development. A mentor should not/should not be afraid of giving feedback. But on the other hand Mentee should also be open to this feedback accepting it not as an evaluation of himself, but as a tool for his development.

And finally, at the end, the Mentee can expect, ask the Mentor(s) to share their own experience, to show how the Mentor previously dealt with similar challenges, what the results of those actions were. Mentee also has the right to expect sharing of both successes and failures. And, as a last resort, at the specific request of the Mentee, the Mentor can give his or her own advice, share his or her own opinion on a given situation.

What does a mentoring session look like and how long does it last?

Mentoring sessions are simply pair meetings. Implemented remotely or offline.

Both the duration and the content of the mentoring session itself depend 100% on the individual arrangement in the mentoring pair. However, there are certain standards or more boundary conditions that are necessary for a session to be effective.

Purpose of the mentoring session

First and foremost, the mentoring couple should remember that each successive session has a goal and that this goal contributes to the goal of the entire mentoring process (and, in turn, that the process goal influences the Mentee’s long-term goals, which you can read more about in article on the purpose of mentoring). It is a good idea to set goals before the session starts – for example, during the previous meeting.

Duration of the meeting as a couple

Sessions may vary in duration depending on this established goal. For example, initial sessions – those related to contracting and goal setting for the entire process – may require more time than further development-related sessions.

In our experience, the duration of such a single meeting can range from 45 minutes to as long as two hours precisely depending on the purpose of the specific session.

Basic elements of any mentoring session

It is also worth remembering to include some “administrative” issues in the session, such as:

• Opening, warm-up – this can take the form of a greeting, a casual “chat” about what has happened in the time since the last meeting. The purpose of this stage is not only to warm up, but also to gradually build a relationship within the mentoring pair.
• Confirm the purpose of a particular session – agree on what will be discussed during the meeting.
• Discuss homework, if there was any. Here again, I would like to emphasize the importance of completing mentoring assignments between meetings as well. This is an important part of Mentee development.
• Finally, it is a good idea to plan the work to be done before the next session. It’s also a good idea to set a goal for that next session – again, making sure it coincides with the goals of the entire mentoring process.
• It is also useful here to schedule the date of the next meeting. It’s easier to do this in person – during a conversation – than remotely between meetings.
• And at the very end, it is also good to summarize the meeting by giving each other mutual feedback – what each side leaves the meeting with, what they particularly appreciate, and what is worth doing differently next time.
• After the meeting is over, an important stage is also autoreflection – that is, already individual reflection on what happened during the meeting, how we felt, what thoughts we had at different stages of the meeting, etc.

“Special” sessions

Finally, it is still worth noting that some sessions will be different from others.

First of all, this applies to the opening sessions – the first, the second, sometimes a few more, during which the couple should work on the contract (among other things, agree to privacy, discuss the assumptions of the cooperation) and on the goals for the mentoring process. You can read more about goals in this article.

About halfway through the process, it’s also worth revisiting the goals and discussing whether the process completed so far is moving toward those goals, whether those goals are still relevant, and possibly what to do to continue moving toward them.

Also special is the last session, which should already be about summarizing and closing the mentoring process. During this session, it is worth summarizing what happened during the process, assessing the degree to which individual goals were achieved, giving each other feedback and talking about the Mentee’s further plans in the direction of development. The last session is also an opportunity to determine whether and on what basis the couple will continue to contact and/or meet.