What is self-reflection in mentoring and why is it so important

Mentoring, on the one hand, of course, is based on the transfer of knowledge and experience from Mentor to Mentee. But on the other, not at all less important, it is based on self-discovery. On building self-awareness, learning about one’s resources, motivators, analyzing and planning for development. A key role in this second area is played by self-reflection. In this article we will take a closer look at this highly effective development tool. 

Building your own self-awareness 

An important part of development is the ability to assess what is going on within ourselves. Consciously looking at our own behavior, thoughts automatic (beliefs) and emotions in different situations allows you to know yourself and thus develop better. It’s a bit like being a scientist, in order to be able to improve, say, a chemical compound, it is necessary to know how it works, what effects it causes, how it reacts with other substances. Only in the next step does the scientist conduct experiments and further improve the performance of the compound.  

The analogy of looking at oneself through a microscope and analyzing what is “inside” of us gives the opportunity to better manage one’s own development and even one’s own impulses and behavior in more difficult situations. Not to mention answering the most basic questions – what do I want to do?, in what direction do I want to develop, because it makes me happy? 

Of course, building self-awareness is not a domain specific only to mentoring. In many development processes, it is necessary to know myself – how I behave, what I feel and think. But mentoring, by virtue of its role, also requires self-reflection. Besides, the work of getting to know oneself must be trained and should become a habit. Thus, the exercise of self-reflection in mentoring can also be seen as training to improve the ability to know oneself. 

Self-reflection before entering the mentoring process 

Self-reflection should accompany the mentoring process from beginning to end. The first opportunity for this is the very decision to join the program.  

Mentoring requires a lot of commitment – both parties. It requires intrinsic motivation and proactivity. Therefore, even before starting the process, it is worth considering why we want to take part in mentoring, what our motivations are.  

A good exercise to deepen this analysis is the 5x why technique, which is, in short, iteratively asking yourself questions such as why you became a Mentee or Mentor. 

Example: 

• Why do I want to become a Mentor in this mentoring program? 
  • To improve your mentoring skills .
• Why do I want to improve my mentoring skills? 
  • To be able to conduct mentoring processes more effectively in the future .
• Why does he want to run mentoring processes more effectively in the future? 
  • To help more Mentees .
• Why do I want to help more Mentees? 
  • To build yourself a network of contacts in young and committed people .
• Why do I want to build myself a network with young and engaged people? 
  • In order to have the possibility of possible future cooperation in areas new to me .

Only by honestly answering questions related to your motivation and goals for participating in the mentoring process will you actually be able to fully engage in the process. And this applies to both Mentors and Mentees. 

Besides, mentoring is a long-term process. In moments of doubt or declining motivation, it’s always a good idea to go back to your own notes from the beginning of the process-including your own reflection related to your participation in the program. 

Self-reflection after mentoring sessions 

Mentors and Mentees should do self-reflection during the process too – on the occasion of each mentoring session. 

The best way to do this is immediately after the session – when we are fresh from the meeting and when we can trace what happened, what we thought and what we felt during the meeting. 

It is very important to do the self-reflection in written form. Just doing a self-reflection “in your head” is not very effective and usually leads to a very superficial analysis. Written form always requires more and more sincere reflection and thinking about the conclusions. 

In addition, the written form makes it possible to return later for self-reflection, to recall what happened at each session and to trace any changes in how we behaved, what we thought and felt. 

What should a post-session self-reflection contain? 

In principle, self-reflection is always a very individual matter and everyone can develop their own template of questions. But the most common reflections are in areas such as: 

• What actually happened during the meeting 
• What was difficult for me, what was easy 
• What would I do/do better&nbsp next time;
• What I learned 

Self-reflection can also be done according to the start, stop, continue method – what I should start doing, what I should stop doing, and what was positive that is worth sustaining. 

More experienced people can also go deeper into self-analysis by trying to notice what automatic thoughts and what feelings came up for them during the session and what triggered them. 

Self-reflection in Mentor / Mentors 

For Mentors, especially those who want to improve their mentoring and leadership skills, it is also worth paying attention to the techniques and tools used during sessions. Answering the simple question, “What techniques and tools did I use during the session?” will allow you to more consciously actually use these methods. 

In addition, this also provides an opportunity to test and refine different techniques on a session-by-session and process-by-process basis.  

In Mentors, self-reflection has another benefit – if a Mentor wants to obtain certification or accreditation, it is very common in the requirements to analyze several of their mentoring processes. Recorded self-reflection and any other notes from meetings definitely help with these tasks. 

Self-reflection in Mentiway 

At Mentiway, we know how important self-reflection is, which is why there is dedicated functionality in the app to help you reflect on what happened during the session and record your own conclusions. In addition, the tool prompts several questions that structure self-reflection and facilitate these reflections. 

Each self-reflection is assigned to a specific session and is visible, of course, only to the author/author. Neither the other party in the pair nor the program organizers have access to it. 

At the end of the process, Mentors and Mentees can export all materials along with self-reflections to keep for future reference. 

And if one prefers less structure, there is always the option of saving self-reflection in the form of a private note to the session.